In order to successfully manage the scrupulous disorder, some essential rules need to be implemented. Ideally these rules will be applied to the disorder in a partnership of healing. The partner may be the person’s regular confessor, spiritual director, or a trusted person with whom the scrupulous person is in a relationship. These are examples of the people who are most necessary if the management of the disorder is to have the best chance of success.
If no close, spiritual partnership is possible, people with the scrupulous disorder can still apply the rules. But please remember that working in concert with a spiritual guide is optimal in advancing healing.
In addition—and as always—the primary animating and energizing source of the healing power that these rules depend on is the grace of the Spirit of God. Grace is the healing power, the resource that must be claimed in order to engage in the management of the disorder. Scrupulosity is primarily a psychological disorder, but it does have a spiritual component. If you have the disorder and ignore either psychology or spirituality, you will make an error that will most certainly complicate your healing journey and may doom it to failure.
THE ESSENTIAL RULES
1. Clearly understand and accept that scrupulosity (not “tender conscience”) is a disorder. It is not a personal cross to bear. It was not given to you by God to test your resolve or deepen your spiritual life. You did nothing to engage the disorder and you are not responsible for it.
2. Resist shortcuts, false promises of healing, or any kind of explanation that does not accept and acknowledge that scrupulosity is a disorder. You may find it comforting to believe it is something else, but such a belief is a fundamental error.
3. Seek professional and spiritual help, and accept that the only way to effective scrupulosity management is through the integration of proper psychological intervention, the application of an effective prescription medicine, and focused spiritual direction. This is the path to wholeness and holiness. There are no shortcuts.
4. Traditional orthodox Catholic moral teaching accepts scrupulosity as a disorder that limits/diminishes your capacity (ability) to make the essential free choices that are required for full consent of the will. As a result of diminished capacity, your default position is to falsely assume the presence of mortal sin in all things. This untrue belief means you have no free choice because you experience only one choice, one that is false. The supposed presence of mortal sin in all things is the fundamental error and source of suffering for the scrupulous person.
5. Resist the temptation to accumulate content in the false belief that you can discover the one answer you seek. Content is not your friend. Many voices, opinions, teachings, and resources serve no purpose but to confuse you and energize the disorder. No catechism statement or canon law is the key to clarity.
6. Resist the compulsion to constantly seek reassurance. Feel the feelings. Sit with the discomfort. When you experience yourself filled with an avalanche of feelings, questions, and anxiety, this is the guaranteed presence of scrupulosity. Doing nothing is much better than doing something in response to discomfort. Focus on the present moment.
7. The normal spiritual disciplines and practices that are encouraged as the way to holiness for a person who does not have scrupulosity do not help you and must not be engaged. This includes the examination of conscience, repetitive prayers, and any spiritual practice that must be performed on a certain day or at a certain time.
8. Reception of the Sacrament of Reconciliation on a regular basis is not possible. The sacrament should be celebrated only with the direction of your spiritual director/confessor and must include the necessary help and preparation of your director. Reconciliation must ordinarily be experienced though the Eucharist, the Anointing of the Sick, or an act of contrition. (A healthy understanding of rule 4 will help you understand the truth of rule 8.)
9. Reception of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist must never be denied. You must receive the sacrament each time you celebrate the Eucharist. You cannot deny yourself this sacred and important encounter with Jesus, your Most Holy Redeemer.
10. Scrupulosity cannot exist in the present moment. It thrives in the experience of the past, recalling either the real, imagined, and always incomplete experience of sin, or in the future, living in fear of an imagined judgment of damnation. A disciplined practice of mindfulness, contemplative breathing, and centering prayer, are among the effective practices that help a person focus on the present moment, the Eternal Now.
11. Be patient and compassionate with the application of these rules to your spiritual journey. If you have not been as successful as you might hope in the implementation of these rules, do not be concerned. It is just a minor detour. Simply start again.
Each of these management rules have been discerned as the result of years of pastoral ministry and experience. Each rule reflects the lived experience of men and women who suffer with the scrupulous condition and who have learned management skills.
In practiced and focused spiritual direction, I have listened to people share with me how these rules have slowly changed their lives and helped them achieve a sense of peace. They are effective rules for managing scrupulous conditions and are intended only for those who suffer with the disorder. They have been pastorally fine-tuned expressly for this purpose and may be unfamiliar to confessors, priests, and others who are inexperienced with the disorder. That only means there are people, including priests, who do not understand the disorder or the havoc it creates.