When someone says, “No thanks!” to something that is so much a part of our lives, we may find ourselves confused, hurt, or even angry. Such rejection may threaten us to our very core, challenge our values, even cause us to question our own faith. Jesus understands how we feel when a loved one does not share our beliefs. He had the same experience. Remember the gospel story about Jesus and his family’s lack of faith? [Jesus] came to his native place, accompanied by his disciples. When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished. They said, “Where did this man get all this?… Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary?”… And they took offense at him.
Mark 6:1–3
They took offense at him! Even Jesus knew rejection by those close to him.
Where Did I Go Wrong?
Sometimes we blame ourselves for the decisions of our loved ones, particularly our children. If you think you might be responsible for someone’s rejection of the Church, then talk to a confessor, spiritual director, or counselor. If you are guilty, confess your sin, ask for forgiveness, accept that forgiveness, and move on. Anything less is a lack of faith in the good God who knows you thoroughly and still loves and forgives you.
Our Duty to Those Who Have Rejected the Church
We are not God. We are not in charge. God chooses the instruments that will bring others to faith. Sometimes, God may use us; sometimes, not. Let God be God. As much as you love someone—even your precious child—God loves that someone even more.
There is a lovely story about the night prayer of Pope St. John XXIII. Every night, he would end his prayers with, “It’s your Church, God; I’m going to bed.” When we have done our duty and prayed for those about whom we are most concerned, perhaps we might end our prayers like good Pope John: “They are your children, God; I’m going to bed.”
From “Restoring Hope: Healing When You’ve Been Hurt by the Church” by Paige Byrne Shortal (C2512A). The Catholic Update newsletter explores Church tradition and teaching on contemporary topics. Available as a subscription or as individual issues. For more information, call 800-325-9521, or visit Liguori.org.