Not a day goes by that I do not answer at least a handful of questions about sin. More often than not, the questions are something like, “Father, I did this (fill in the blank). Was that a mortal sin?”
And in all the days that people have asked me about sin in whatever form, the answer has always been the same: “No. That is not a mortal sin. It is not even a sin.” In thirty-five years, I have never answered any of these questions with, “Yes, that is a mortal sin.”
There are a variety of reasons why I have never answered “yes” to these questions. The primary reason is that mortal sin is very serious and very grave, and it kills our relationship with God deliberately. It is not possible to commit a mortal sin unless there is serious and grave material—what the sacrament refers to as “matter”—and unless that matter fulfills the conditions required for mortal sin.
Mortal sin is never an accident. To hold the position that mortal sin is an accident speaks volumes about your understanding of God and effectively contradicts the traditional and the scriptural understanding of who God is—not to mention that such a position does serious damage to the “Abba, Father” whom Jesus shared with us.
Another reason that informs my answers to scrupulous people about sin includes the concept of “diminished capacity,” which the orthodox moral understanding teaches about sin. You cannot choose to commit a mortal sin when you are suffering with a disorder (such as scrupulosity, addiction, or mental illness) that diminishes your capacity to freely choose. This does not mean that you have a “golden ticket” or a “built-in exemption” to serious sin; rather, it is a positive statement about the human condition and how the Church understands the human person. It effectively removes a heavy burden when such a burden is unnecessary and, in fact, inaccurate.
A third reason, and one that requires some real effort on the part of scrupulous people to understand and accept, is that not every action is a sin. Not every feeling experienced by a person is a signal that the person has committed a sin. Many human actions—in fact, most human actions—are not sinful. To put it another way, being a human being is not a sin. I understand that some so-called “moral influencers” creeping around on social media may have other opinions, and are in fact peddling a harmful version of Catholicism and moral theology to make a theological point, but that does not mean they are correct.
For example, eating too much at Thanksgiving dinner is not an indication of gluttony. It is not a sin; it is an unhealthy choice that should be avoided. Running a stop sign is not a sin, but someone who is caught running a stop sign will face a legal penalty. It is also not safe and, as such, is indicative of an unhealthy and/or risky misuse of one’s driving privilege, but it is not a sin. Workplace or family conversations should not automatically be assumed to be the sin of gossip. There is a difference between ordinary gossip and gossip that is intended to cause harm and offense. It is well worth the effort to learn the difference and not to automatically spiral into anxiety and the fear of serious sin.
It seems simple enough, but that is not the experience for all people. There are exceptions to what I’ve just explained—instances that can be sinful in addition to being unwise and unhealthy. This can create confusion and doubt, which means scrupulosity can thrive. Here’s an example: As a citizen of your country, you have agreed to follow its laws. If you do not pay your taxes, you are breaking the law. You are also taking something that is not yours; namely, money that legally belongs to the government. This is considered theft, which is a sin. In this example, you may be able to avoid legal action by paying back the money, but you are still responsible for your moral choice and the consequences of that moral choice.
I believe—and I do not think this is a reckless belief—that scrupulous people should not presume sin, and certainly not mortal or serious sin. Instead, they should regularly assume human error, weakness, or similar reasons for their chosen actions. Labeling an action as a sin should not be their first choice; instead, it should be discerned and deliberate. At the end of the day, in the lives of ordinary people, there should be many human choices and actions but very few, if any, sins—and most certainly not mortal sins. Again, I’m not being reckless, but this is the usual experience of most people, particularly people who are trying to live holy and healthy lives.
Scrupulosity feeds us a constant false narrative. It assumes a position of judge, and it always renders a guilty verdict. It never presumes innocence. It does not believe in generosity, compassion, and forgiveness. It always assigns the harshest penalty and then pronounces that penalty as inadequate or incomplete. It cannot tolerate normal human behavior and always determines that even the most ordinary mistake is worthy of condemnation. Scrupulosity is a cruel master; it pretends and convinces the person who suffers from the disorder that it is somehow real, necessary, and the only path to salvation. It is most assuredly not the path to salvation; it is the path to untold doubt, anxiety, and suffering. It does not give life, but it drains the scrupulous person of the life that God has gifted him or her with, all the while pretending that it is something other than what it seems.
Human life is a celebration, not a test. I understand there was a strain of Christian spirituality that proposed life as a big test, given to us only to determine if we are worthy of another life that is to come. Except in the rarest of circumstances and the smallest universe of spiritual practice is this true, and, even then, there is little or any support for this point of view. No—this life is where we experience the core and root of our promised eternity. This is the present moment of God’s grace and life. It is a celebration, not a burden. It is a promise, not a test. And everything that we experience is God’s grace and life, including the entirety of the human experience. It is not sin. It is abundant grace and abundant life.