This month’s edition of Scrupulous Anonymous newsletter (October 2024) is the second of two parts. It continues the discussion about depriving your OCD of content that was addressed in the September 2024 newsletter. Included are some practical rules for how you can do this.
As a direct result of more than thirty-five years in scrupulosity ministry, I am ruthless about the application of what a person needs to do to manage his or her scrupulosity. I will not compromise when it comes to applying the required pastoral remedy. I understand that many scrupulous people are often crippled by the doubt they experience daily, and I understand that, for some, what I propose as a remedy sounds like nonsense. However, I will not compromise.
After last month’s newsletter, I hope we arrived at a mutual understanding that content is not your friend. When you are struggling with OCD/scrupulosity, the content that demands your attention is the trigger. Your OCD does not have any loyalty to the content itself; it cares only about your anxious response. Any attempt at trying to answer the many questions the content generates is a waste of time. Listed here are some of the practical rules that you must apply to be able to resist triggers and that will help you learn to manage your scrupulosity.
1. Examination of conscience. If you experience stress, anxiety, doubt, and confusion when you are examining your conscience, stop. You cannot engage in this spiritual practice. There are no exceptions.
2. Confession. If you go to confession more than once a day or numerous times per week, stop. That is not spirituality or spiritual discipline—it is OCD. You are not experiencing grace but are becoming exhausted and overwhelmed by your OCD. It is unnecessary and not required.
3. Forgotten details. If you finish your confession and remember some detail you believe should have been mentioned, stop. This belief is a lie. This content is not your friend—it is OCD. Refuse to consider the details; just move on. What is done is done, and nothing more is required.
4. Holy Communion. If you experience scrupulosity when you are standing in the Communion line, convinced you are in sin and cannot receive holy Communion, stop. Receive holy Communion, no matter what you feel.
5. Mortal or venial sin? If you struggle to determine whether something is grave, mortal, or venial, stop. This is your scrupulosity at work, wreaking havoc within you. You have a diminished capacity to freely choose; that diminished capacity routinely defaults to the most serious sin and claims responsibility for committing the sin.
6. Prayer. If you pray and find yourself endlessly repeating prayers to make them “perfect,” stop. Be silent and refuse to engage the trigger. You do not need words to pray; it is enough that you are present in the sacred space of prayer.
7. Permission. If you find yourself frozen in place, believing you need permission from God to make a move, stop. Force yourself to walk away and continue what you were doing. Refuse to ask permission. It is not God who requires permission—it is your OCD.
8. Impulsive thoughts. If you have an impulsive thought that disgusts you, admit that you are disgusted, then stop. There is no need to think about it, digest it, and figure out the details. There is no need to determine if you “entertained” the thought. You do not entertain bad thoughts; your OCD does.
9. Sexual feelings. If you experience a sexual feeling, even arousal, thank God for the fact that you are alive and healthy. Stop condemning yourself. Stop trying to figure out if you caused the feeling.
10. Sabbath rest. If you find yourself constantly wondering about what is or what is not an acceptable activity for a Sunday, stop. This is not spiritual; it is a trigger for OCD and anxiety.
11. Signs from God. If you hear a voice or see a sign that makes you think God is talking to you and directing you to act in a specific manner, stop. Your OCD makes it impossible to trust the voice you think is God’s voice. Your OCD is lying to you and causing you stress and anxiety.
The list is endless. I have given you only some examples, but hopefully you understand the point. Whatever content is the trigger for your OCD, stop it! It does not matter that your content trigger might be something beneficial for people without OCD. For you, it is not.
In closing, I repeat: content is not your friend. Content is the trigger for your compulsions and obsessive thinking. Content is what makes you ruminate about the past and dread the future. Stop it—close the Catechism, put away the Code of Canon Law. Stop listening to social media commentators who are clueless about scrupulosity or who dismiss mental illness and blame it on demons. You do not need this type of content; you do not need to be triggered in this manner. Learn to be confident in your own decisions. Seek the help of a good spiritual director and/or confessor. Include your loved ones in at least a basic awareness of your struggle. All of these things are good and necessary. But, most importantly, you must stop engaging in triggering content. Starve the beast and isolate the content that triggers your suffering.